Pride - A Contradiction in the Term Itself

Well folks, June is here and for most people of the gay communities in these United States, that means that Pride is coming up. The story is no different in Boston as I'm seeing all sorts of flyers and whatnot about the different Pride-themed events leading up to the "Big" parade on Saturday. Because these series of events is indeed a part of "Pride" week, you would think that there would be a little bit more unity and sense of "pride" in our gay communities. Unfortunately, that is not the case.

Here's my take on the divide I'm seeing:

"Anti-gay" gays - I get it. The gay scene is NOT your thing. But the sheer fact that you like to either give it or take it up the ass is all you need to show a little respect to those who do enjoy the scene. I'm not talking about doing drugs in the back of the club or hooking up in the bathrooms (because believe it or not, that happens at the str8 clubs too). I'm talking about the normal scene, with the same awful electronic mixes of "Single Ladies" and everything Gaga. People like it. People love it. More power to em. I like to dance to the awful shit when I go out. But I actually have more respect for those who say, "Not really my scene," than those who show such disdain and downright HATE for anything remotely gay, whether it's clubs, music, tv, or whatever. Seriously, go suck a dick.

"Super" gays - This is where I may sound a little contradictory. Guys, get over yourselves. Really. Respect must be given if you expect to receive it back. There is a very distinct difference between being open with your sexuality (or FLAUNTING it) and just being disrespectful about it. That means no unwanted sexual advances, no anti-hetero remarks, etc. While it is true that I tend to wear my sexuality on my sleeve sometimes (My walls are painted purple for Pete's sake!) I do not FORCE my sexuality upon others. This is how I have gained respect from peers and str8 counterparts. They love my FLAMIN' hot ass! And let the fucking Bi guys play softball with your queeny asses. They will only help the game, I'm sure. Where's the inclusiveness and acceptance there?

So this week, as the weird costumes get dusted off and re-glittered, let's keep in mind that yes, we should have a gay ol' time. But respect gets respect. Prove why we deserve the rights we've worked so hard to get by acting like humans and not animals.

Let the hateful comments commence...

Relax, It's Just Sex

It's no secret that most of my blog topics are sexually related. I actually go out of my way to find some of the weirdest shit possible to talk about on here. People have asked me before why I choose sex as my main topic for this site. My question is, "Why not?"

In America, sex is such a taboo topic among a lot of people. Unlike many European countries, where its residents are more open to more dialogue about sexuality, people are so tight-lipped here it's almost sickening. I think because people are too afraid to talk about sex, people are therefore uneducated about certain....effects of sex. Promiscuity, living on the "down low," unwanted pregnancies, sexually transmitted diseases are all on the rise, and while I don't have exact statistics, I am pretty confident that our European counterparts aren't experiencing the same level of increases.

I think that we need to talk about sex more. No, I don't mean ho shit. I mean genuine, conversations about human sexuality in general. We need more dialogue. We need more education. We also need to be less judgemental of the topic. That's where the education part comes in. We have the power to teach each other an incredible amount of information if we put aside our inhibitions and just talk.

As far as this blog goes, I will continue to educate people on the stupidity of society. I like my weird and sometimes funny entries. I mean, somebody's gotta report on it. But you get my point. As my homegirls Salt n Pepa once said, "Let's talk about sex baby!"

Fuck the Red Cross

Let me preface this by saying I am truly sorry about what is going on in Haiti, and I will find other means of supporting them.

I recently received a letter from the American Red Cross asking me to send a monitary donation for whatever relief efforts they claimed to be supporting at the time or to stop by a local blood bank and donate blood. As a result, I Tweeted a comment about them that resulted in numerous dialogues between myself and virtual strangers....and also brought back a flood of memories that I had once forgotten.

It was the year 2000 and my first week as a College Freshman. I was away from my hometown of Detroit and exploring new horizons at my school in Orangeburg, South Carolina. I was an adult, independent, ready to take on the world. There was a Blood Drive on campus and I figured that I would do the responsible thing and donate some of my blood. I mean, as their slogan at the time said, the life that I save could be my own. :0)

The Blood drive was fairly busy, which I expected, and I waited patiently for my turn to donate. Of course there was a questionaire, which I have refered to since then as THE questionaire. Anywhoo, I fill out the questionaire and hand it to the lovely, seemingly nice lady on the other side of the table and mentally prepare myself for the sight of blood being pumped from my very own veins.

What happened next is probably the most embarassing and humiliating thing that has ever happened to me....EVER...

The lady looked at my questionaire...THE questionaire...like I had drawn Nazi symbols all over it. Then she told me, as cold-hearted as she possibly could, that I would not be able to give blood. Why? Because I am "a male who has had sex with another male since 1977, even once." Are you fucking kidding me? Yes, I'm a gay male, who has had sex with men, since 1977 (I was BORN in 1982). Then I was escorted out of the blood drive location because of fears that I would cause a scene. I would have. I was shocked, totally embarassed, and I wanted to cry.

The worst part about it is the fact that was no empathy whatsoever. There was no "I'm sorry, but unfortunately FDA guidelines...." No "I wish we could, but..." No nothing, but the impression of "You're gay, therefore you have AIDS, and we don't want your disease-ridden blood."

Flashforward to the other day, and the conversations that I had with these people whom I have never met. It was almost the same thing all over again, except they were a little nicer. But were still trying to justify the reasoning. I was told that people are prohibited from giving blood for sleeping with prostitutes and sharing needles. While that may be true, the fact of the matter is that as long as they refrain from that activity for i year before donating blood, then they're allowed to do so. So according to my calculations, a hetersexual male can have unprotected sex with a different female prostitute every day of his life and then share needles with 20 different people, and as long as he stops doing that for a year, then he can donate blood. But if I have protected sex with another HIV negative male, test negative every six months, and become abstinate for 10 years, I'm still prohibited from donating blood. Does that make sense? What sickens me the most is that it's been almost ten years after that incident, and 25 years after the archaic clause was placed on THE questionare, and nothing has changed. I've had this discussion with several of my gay friends. Some of them told me that they donated blood after lying on THE questionaire. Fuck that. I'm not lying on any form just so an organization who practices blatent institutionalized homophobia can suck the blood out of me....literally.

So fuck you, Red Cross. Take my name off your mailing list. You don't want my blood, therefore you don't get my money.

Rotten Condoms

Just in case you thought China was just good for lead-painted toys



Authorities have shut down a factory in central China that was producing fake and non sterile condoms and they are trying to track down over two million of the rotten condoms that have already been sold across the country. The peckerhead prophylactics were believed to be sold under numerous brands and police say that the suspect bought the condoms wholesale, then added an unknown lubricant and repackaged them WITHOUT sterilizing them.

And of course, there were underaged girls allegedly working at the factory.

This is a hot ass mess. China already stole all the Gold Medals in the Olympics and now they wanna kill off the population with dirty condoms. Why not just find a way to put the AIDS virus in their rice and call it a day?

VMA Updates...by the minute

The 2009 MTV Video Music Awards are on tonight....which is ironic because MTV doesn't air music videos anymore. But regardless, I'm here to give all of my non-readers an up to the minute update of the hot messes on the red carpet and throughout the awards show. I would be tweeting....but I'm still fasting from that.

11:30 This is it....goodnight everybody!!!

11:28 Somebody needs to kick Lil Mama off the damn stage. Literally. Kick her.

11:25 You better work those sequined pants bitch!

11:22 I'm living for Alicia Keys on that damn piano. MTV's cinematography is awfully dramatic right now for this intro.

11:14 Beyaki wins "Video of the Year!" Very classy of her to let Taylor come out and give her acceptance speech. Lady Gaga is stealing my heart right now with all her different-ness.

11:02 I'm so scurred watching Pink's performance right now. Don't fall bitch!

10:59 Lady Gaga's acceptance speech was awesome!

10:58 Where is Sherri Shepard to keep Tracy Morgan in check?

10:51 Kid Cudi is performing on the reject stage. How dreadful!

10:49 Looks like Eminem is signing a contract to the the next MAC spokesmodel.

10:40 If Tracy Morgan really wants to win "Best New Artist," then he needs to record "Don't be Tardy for the Party!!!"

10:37 Damn....MTV couldn't give them the main stage to perform on. I don't know who this band is, but they're pretty good.

10:34 T.I. wins "Best Male Video." Don't drop the soap boo...

10:25 Beyonce just shut it down!!! Where my ring at?

10:20 Beyonce is bringing the drama with her on stage.

10:19 I think I wanna see the new Twilight movie....I guess I need to see the first one.

Kristen Stewart looks horrible with dark hair.

10:16 Pitbull must be drunk because he forgot the words to his chorus.

10:06 Green Day is performing....not my cup of red Kool-Aid, but they have the audience on their feet, which is better than last years yawn-fest that MTV put on.

10:05 Not feeling Megan Fox's outfit.

10:04 Congrats Brit...MTV still owes you BIG!

10:00 Lady Gaga is a FUCKING weirdo! LMFAO!!!!!

9:53 The bitch is dead, but her glowsticks live on!

9:51 She's got some serious Cameltoe goin on. But I like it!

9:49 Lady Gaga is giving me Phantom of the Opera Cunt Dramatics!

9:42 Taylor swift's "Subway" performance was totally fake and Green-Screened until she stepped outside. Were they just getting ready to roll tape again? Oops!

9:36 I could care less about the "Best Rock Video" award....I just hope there won't be another outbust from Kanye over who wins this one.

9:34 Ugh....I can't STAND Jack Black. What an unfunny bastard.

9:25 Kanye West is an ASSHOLE....but he was right.

9:24 Taylor Swift beats Beyonce? I'm changing the channel...

9:23 Cheesy dialogue...just hand out the damn trophy already!

9:14 I would hate to be Katy Perry right now, having to perform after that tribute. But her outfit is cute tho. Somebody tell me why Russell Brand is hosting again...

9:13 Janet just KILLED it!!!

9:07 Long live the KING!!!

9:05 I am LOVING this bitch's speech right now...

9:00 Awww....look at Madge. She looks pretty for a old tranny. Did she just throw shade at Joe Jackson?

Showtime!!!!

8:58 Award is presented for Best Video that Sucked the first time it was nominated....to the Beastie Boys for Sabotage.

8:56 Who are you?

8:55 Queen Creole has arrived. Excuse me...you're in my way!

8:51 J.Lo looks amazing! Love the dress! You better plug that album girl...

8:48 Bitch you are late. I knew they had on the same dress as soon as Pink stepped on the scene.

8:46 This girl is cute....but in the words of Mariah Carey, "I don't know who that is."

8:40 MTV shows it's first music video since 2008.

8:39 The cast of Fame hit the red carpet. I can't wait for the movie, but they look a hot mess.

8:38 Cobra Starship? arrives on the red carpet via Grey Line tour bus. Classy.

I wish Whitney would show up. But that's asking a little too much from her right now. Oh well. I have Oprah tomorrow...

8:31 Alicia Keys looks beautiful. It's refreshing to see a well spoken black person on TV besides the President. Her speaking voice relaxes me. She should record a book on tape.

8:29 Dirty Water...I mean Dirty Money just hit the red carpet. I think I officially hate Diddy. I wonder if Dawn is getting a check yet.

8:28 Only on Verizon can you record such a shitty video. Can you hear me now?

8:26 Does Taylor Swift think she's Cinderella or something?

8:22 Those kids were cute with their routine. That disaster interviewing them, however, was not.

8:19 Who is this old guy?

8:17 Some little boy hits the red carpet. I don't know who he is. But he's wearing a Calvin Klein suit, fresh off the rack at Marshalls.

8:14 Lady Gaga hits the red carpet with Kermit the Frog as her date. You didn't hear? They're fucking now. Ms. Piggy must've put her in that neck brace, feathers and all.

8:11 Pink shows up...wearing the same dress as Shakira. Oops!

Shoutout to the Virgos

Happy Belated Birthday Mom!!!!!

You must be happy to live long enough to see your kids grown up, especially to see your first born son become the man you always wanted him to be....



Then again, just be grateful that I'm not on drugs, can take care of myself, and don't have any crazy baby mama's banging on your door. Love you mommie!

Real Talk

I’ve been thinking about this for a while.

Technology is a wonderful thing, and the Internet has allowed us to meet, connect, and reconnect with friends and family all over the world. However, I’ve become slightly disenfranchised with the whole concept of always being accessible and taking away some of the personal aspects of day to day conversations with people. The Internet and other forms of technology have been as much of an interruption of my daily life as it is a convenience. So I’m turning it off for a while.

I know what you’re thinking. Yes, I’m using the Internet to tell the world that I’m sick of it. But like I said, it IS convenient. And I can reach more people faster using this channel than any other. So yes, I’m using this as my way of communicating to all of you.

Ladies, gentlemen, and undecided, I present to you…an experiment that I’d like to call, “Real” Talk.

For 30 days, the entire month of September to be exact, I will not be logging onto any social networking sites. No Facebook, MySpace, Twitter, or any other site. I won’t be logging onto any Instant Messaging programs. No Yahoo Messenger, AIM, MSN. I will only respond to work or business related emails. No Gmail, AOL, Hotmail, or Yahoo. And probably the most difficult thing that I will do without for 30 days is texting. I will still be accessible to those who call my cell phone and I’ll still write letters via Snail Mail.

So to sum it all up, no Tweets, Wall posts, or bulletins. No personal emails. No SMS, MMS, BBMs, IMs, or any other short term lingo that doesn’t include phone calls or letters. If my friends or family need to reach me, they need to do it the old fashioned way. “Real” Talk. I’ll still use the internet to keep track of news events and I’ll continue to update Red Steam, since I like finding weird shit to write about.

Hopefully, at the end of this experiment, I will accomplish a few things. One, the fact that I can make it 30 days without all these things. Two, that I will have a new appreciation for these things and not take them for granted. Three, that my friends and family have the ability to adapt to the “old school” methods of communication.

If you have my number or address, use it. If not, get it from someone who does. :0)

Momma, Iz a Virgin!

Ladies, has all the whoring around when you were 13 or 14 starting to catch up with you? Did you tell your man that you were saving yourself for marriage, knowing your snatch is as loose as Kirstie Alley's skinny jeans on Nicole Richie? Or have you finally realized that the best way out of a recession is to auction off your non-existent virginity to the highest bidder on Ebay? Well, I have got THE product for you:



It's an Artificial Virginity Hymen! (Applause)

No more worry about losing your virginity. With this product, you can have your first night back anytime. Insert this artificial hymen into your vagina carefully. It will expand a little and make you feel tight. When your lover penetrate, it will ooze out a liquid that look like blood not too much but just the right amount. Add in a few moans and groans, you will pass through undetectable. Its easy to use, clinically proven non-toxic to human and has no side effects, no pain to use and no allergic reaction.

I can almost imagine all the pregnant virgins roaming the streets of Woburn now...

Top or Bottom?

A friend and I were having a discussion last week about gay men being able to be friends with each other without knowing every single detail about their sexuality. I hadn’t given it much thought before, but I can think of several occasions over the years (mainly in Detroit, gotta love my people) where I’ve been asked the same question by my fellow homo-zestual brethren: “Top or bottom?”

WTF?

Why do you need to know that? We ain’t fuckin, and ain’t gon EVER fuck. So why do you need to know such information within the first 10 minutes of meeting me? Even if there was an inkling of attraction between us two and were considering dating each other, that question is best saved for….not right after “Hi, my name is….”
Now I admit, I do share some things with my closest friends. I mean, I gotta have someone to tell my secrets to. So because I feel so close to my 2.5 readers out there, I’ll share this little secret with you….

Regarding the question at hand, I am…..Sasha Fierce! :0)

Goodnight Everybody!

Another reason to hate Woburn

After a mediocre day at work yesterday, I decided to unwind and go out for booze and a movie with my roomie. So we're on the way to Chili's for margaritas and we're driving along I-93 Northbound, having a good time, when all of a sudden the truck in front of me slams on the brakes. So logically, I do the same thing, but my car doesn't stop in time and I hit the damn Jeep in front of me. Their car is virtually unscathed while my baby looks like this:





I know what you're thinking. At least nobody got hurt. Bullshit. I'd rather somebody got hurt than my car be wrecked the way it was. This fucking accident would not have happened if the stupid bitch 3 cars ahead of me didn't slam on her fucking brakes for NO DAMN REASON causing a chain reaction with me being the fourth and final car.

Police arrive on the scene and do NOTHING but say that the scene is two separate accidents (2nd car hitting the first car, 4th car hitting the third) and we should just file claims with our insurance company, which automatically means that I am at fault even though the first cunt caused everything. I ask the Trooper (don't dare call a MA State Policeman an "Officer") if there was going to be a report. He replies to just contact the insurance company and when they ask the location of the accident, we're just crossing into Woburn, MA....

BITCH!!!!

Sluts 101: How to Steal a Man

Now normally, if a skank bitch wanted to steal her friend's man, she would do some off the wall type of hoe shit, like blowing him in the kitchen while the girlfriend is peeing in the bathroom or showing up at his apartment for a late night booty call among other things. But apparently the quickest way to a man's heart (and his dick) is through his stomach.

Exhibit A:



Now....I have been known to do some strange things for food, especially if it's free food. However, I didn't think Black people even ate Chicken Tetrazzini. Did you look at these women? And the skanky chef was trying to steal THAT?!?!?! But if you ain't black Barbie, I guess you can't expect Death Row Ken to be your knight in shining teeth. Hey, God can't give you everything, so if you don't have the looks, class, or sexual prowess.....you better make some BOMB ASS CHICKEN TETRAZZINI!!!!

Weirdness

So because I had nothing else better to do, I decided to Google crazy sex laws in Massachusetts.

Now I thought I was gonna find some off the wall crazy shit....but I didn't. However, I did find a few things that made made me go.."What the fuck?"

For instance, oral sex is ILLEGAL in Massachusetts. Are you kidding me? 90% of gay sex is oral! Is this some sick way of locking up all the homos?

Also, it is illegal for a man's erection to show through his clothing. By this standard, a lot of adolescent boys (and some ready freaky weirdo grown-ups) should be put away for a few years.

But the craziest of them all had to have been this one: At a rodeo, it is illegal to have sex with a rodeo clown in the presence of horses.

What the fuck?