Sunday, July 26, 2009

My, that's a mighty muscular vagina you have!

And you thought those exercises that Karen Walker taught you wouldn't pay off....

A Russian woman has set a new world record, lifting a 14-kg. glass ball with her vagina muscles. Tatiata Kozhevnikova of Novosibirsk, aged 42, has been exercising her intimate muscles for fifteen years, and has already made her entrance into the Guinness Book of Records as the possessor of the world’s strongest vagina.

“After I had a child, my intimate muscles got unbelievably weak. I read books on Dao and learned that ancient women used to deal with this problem using wooden balls,” she said. “I looked around, saw a Murano glass ball and inserted it in my vagina. It took me ages to get it out!”

Well she doesn't have to worry about that now. Her balls (hehe) are now custom made!

“You insert one of the balls in your vagina, and it has a string attached to it with a little hook at the very end. You fix a second ball onto this hook.”

As you know, Russian women are into some freaky shit. So she recommends a puss-of-steel workout on the regular as well as daily vodka douching. “It’s enough to exercise your vagina five minutes a day, ladies, and in just one week you’ll be able to give yourself and your man unforgettable pleasure in bed,” she says.

Check out these Kodak moments!

Saturday, July 25, 2009

RIP: E. Lynn Harris

I'm very saddened to report that one of my favorite authors, E. Lynn Harris, passed away on Thursday night while on a business trip to LA. He was truly an inspiration to the Black Gay community and I've read almost every book he's written.

I remember back in 1999, I was fresh out the closet and I read "Invisible Life" for the first time. And I cried like a little baby because it was the first time that I related to something that was being written. I was hooked and was playing catch up and reading the other books he had written as part of the series.

You will be missed, Mr. Harris, but your writing will live on forever.

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Momma, Iz a Virgin!

Ladies, has all the whoring around when you were 13 or 14 starting to catch up with you? Did you tell your man that you were saving yourself for marriage, knowing your snatch is as loose as Kirstie Alley's skinny jeans on Nicole Richie? Or have you finally realized that the best way out of a recession is to auction off your non-existent virginity to the highest bidder on Ebay? Well, I have got THE product for you:

It's an Artificial Virginity Hymen! (Applause)

No more worry about losing your virginity. With this product, you can have your first night back anytime. Insert this artificial hymen into your vagina carefully. It will expand a little and make you feel tight. When your lover penetrate, it will ooze out a liquid that look like blood not too much but just the right amount. Add in a few moans and groans, you will pass through undetectable. Its easy to use, clinically proven non-toxic to human and has no side effects, no pain to use and no allergic reaction.

I can almost imagine all the pregnant virgins roaming the streets of Woburn now...

Sunday, July 05, 2009

Top or Bottom?

A friend and I were having a discussion last week about gay men being able to be friends with each other without knowing every single detail about their sexuality. I hadn’t given it much thought before, but I can think of several occasions over the years (mainly in Detroit, gotta love my people) where I’ve been asked the same question by my fellow homo-zestual brethren: “Top or bottom?”


Why do you need to know that? We ain’t fuckin, and ain’t gon EVER fuck. So why do you need to know such information within the first 10 minutes of meeting me? Even if there was an inkling of attraction between us two and were considering dating each other, that question is best saved for….not right after “Hi, my name is….”
Now I admit, I do share some things with my closest friends. I mean, I gotta have someone to tell my secrets to. So because I feel so close to my 2.5 readers out there, I’ll share this little secret with you….

Regarding the question at hand, I am…..Sasha Fierce! :0)

Goodnight Everybody!