Monday, April 26, 2010

This. Shit. Right. Here.

I was at work the other day talking to Ink (codename) about random shit and she brought up something that I swear I should have heard of such a long time ago. So I did a little research. Ah...the power of Google....

Ladies, have you ever looked down at your va-jay-jay and thought, "How can I drive more attention down there?"

I have a solution for you: VAJAZZLING!!!

Yes, dust off that hot glue gun that's been sitting in the basement, whip out those rhinestones and glitter, and give your Vagine the Bling it so deserves. The more bling and the more creative the design - the better. There is even a panel of judges waiting to see and critique your Lady part's new jewelery. Rate My Vajazzle is like the social network for pussy crowns and if your snatch can make it there, it can make it anywhere.

I think my stock in Michael's just went up.

Saturday, April 24, 2010

She Really I$ a Dirty Whore

It's no secret: I'm not a fan of KE dollar sign HA.

She's talentless, she looks like a homeless bum, and she smells. Not to mention she has the worst attitude on the face of the planet. But here's another reason to love her: She wears placenta on a necklace.

"'I'm into energy. I recently went to see a past-life regressionist, who is also a psychic. I wear my placenta around my neck every day, because it's supposed to give you second sight. I feel like I've had many lifetimes before."

Really tho? Did you ever take a bath in one of those previous lifetimes, KE dollar sign HA?

She goes on in some dumbass interview addressing her image as a "Party Girl."

"I have been working on realising this dream, my path, my mission, for years. I've really invested a lot of thought, time and effort into it. I think it's a bummer when people don't represent that properly, when they portray me as purely one-dimensional."

Sweetie, your wear a dead pussy around your neck. Get a fucking clue. Wash your ass. And make a song that doesn't sound like all your other songs and then maybe people will care.

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Ciara's Pussy Poppin Video

Ciara premiered the video for her latest single, "Ride." Check it out:

I'm not impressed. Everyone is talking about how great the "choreography" is. All she is doing is poppin her pussy and spreading it across the floor. If she were to do the video over again I guarantee it wouldn't have the exact same "choreography" as before.

Yes, the bitch can dance. We know that. To me, she looked much better in the "Go Girl" video. Her body was better looking then. To me, she looks frail in this video.

But that's just MY humble ass opinion. I'm sure most of you bitches like it. So fuck my opinion.

Sunday, April 18, 2010

Porn for the Soul

So a while back, when the TV show Glee first premiered, I was watching it with Deuce and he just saw this big GOOFY grin on my face. And he goes, "This is like PORN for you, isn't it?"

Flash forward....

Yes, people. They're making a Glee porno flick. And the above footage is by far some of the best renditions of the Star Spangled Banner since Whitney at the Super Bowl.

Nothing says Show Choir like a big orgy. Sometimes it takes a big dick to make you hit those high notes. These women need it. Except for homegirl singing the Mexican national anthem. She was pretty good.

Keri Hilson, eat your heart out!

Friday, April 16, 2010

I Can't...

So some dude was arrested and pled guilty for having sex with a donkey. Isn't that how AIDS came about? Or was it a monkey? I don't know. I don't care. If I was that donkey I would've fought back and fucked HIM in the ass.

How you like them apples?