The Color Purple

"You told Harpo to beat me?"



Not exactly the color purple that I had in mind, but rather the context that I use it on a daily basis.

For anyone who knows me in real life, you may notice from time to time I may don the phrase, "Mmmm...purple!" You may wonder what it means or where the hell did it come from. Now I shouldn't be sharing such private information on here, but since no one reads this shit anyway I'll tell you. First, a little education on the definition of purple:

Noun
1. a colour between red and blue
2. cloth of this colour, often used to symbolize royalty or nobility
3. the official robe of a cardinal

Adjective
1. of a colour between red and blue
2. (of writing) excessively elaborate: purple prose [Greek porphura the purple fish (murex)]

Red Steam
1. Referring to a person of the male species whom is physically attractive.

Yes, it is my semi-discreet way of informing my buddies of some eye-candy within a 50-foot range. I know it's silly, but it beats "Ooooo SHIT, look at HIM!!!!" So there.

So where did it come from? Well, truthfully the phrase has evolved over several manefestations into the catchphrase that is used by me today, but here is the original coinage, from a Dave Chappelle stand up routine. Pay attention close to the end and you'll notice that the "grape drink" in question and I are composed of the same ingredients.



Purple Power baby!!!!

The Gym...Not Just for Working Out Anymore!!!

In an attempt to achieve physical sexiness (I’ve got a long way to go), I’ve purchased a cheapo membership to a local gym (Planet Fitness for you stalkers out there). Since joining, I’ve had the amusement of answering several questions about my particular motivations for deciding to work out at a gym. I suppose that I should take my homosexual stereotypes of sleazy rendezvous in the steam room in stride the same way I do with my obsession with fried chicken because of my skin color (put some hot sauce on that shit….DAMN!). However, it’s funny how MANY people I’ve talked to about this who have the same questions: Am I going to the gym to work out…or hook up?

Now, for most of my gay life, I’ve heard the stories of the taboo “Gym hookup.” But it was my understanding that the hookup was secondary to the primary purpose, which was actually working out. But in recent days, it seems as though working out has been placed on the back-burner and the ever-evolving hookup is now the primary focus of those frequenting the gym…..or at least that is what my co-workers, friends, and close relatives (ew) are leading me to believe.

Me personally, I would never try it for a couple of reasons. One, I’m trying to achieve physical sexiness and I’ve got about 15 pounds of gut to lose before I can start pole dancing for facelift money. Two, I’d be too chicken shit scared of getting caught. Three, have you ever attempted anal sex in the shower? It hurts. But to each his own. If that’s how you wanna spend precious free time, go ahead.

My question is, how often have you heard about it? Is it just a gay thing? Is the gym really not just for working out anymore? I would love to hear from some hetero-folk to see how many stories are out there.

I’m off to the gym!