Tuesday, August 31, 2010

A Different Type of Vitamin Water

Have you ever been so pissed off at a co-worker that you thought "I'm gonna jack off into this bitch's bottle of water?"

Yeah, me neither.

But apparantly SOMEBODY must have pissed this guy off in California enough to make him do just that.

Michael Kevin Lallana, of Fullerton, CA has been charged with two misdemeanor counts each of releasing an offensive material in a public place and assault, according to a statement from the Orange County District Attorney's office. Back in January, this dude deposited his man juice into a water bottle that was on a female co-workers desk. She later came back to her desk, drank from the bottle, and threw it away after feeling sick and irritated.

Then, HE DOES IT AGAIN three months later!!! But this time, the woman was smart and sent the bottle of semen-aid to be tested. DNA never lies boo boo.

I've been know for a little office prank, but that shit is disgusting. I smell an office romance that went terribly wrong. Let it be a lesson folks: Your health and sanity ain't worth it for mail-room dick or cubicle pussy. That GOOD-GOOD lies within middle and upper management.

Friday, August 20, 2010

Real Talk v2.0

As you may or may not recall, last year I did a little personal experiment entitled Real Talk where I gave up all forms of social networking for 30 days. During that time frame I was able to take a breather from the online world and sort of appreciate my many forms of technology and communication methods for what they were.

This year, I decided to do it again. While my reasons last year were more to see if I could ACTUALLY give up Tweeting and everything else for a month, this year is more of a NEED to give it up for a month. There is just certain things that I do not need to say, do, or read vis the internet and I want to be able to miss these things in order to appreciate the technology that I am afforded and not take it for granted. And to be perfectly honest, I'm sick of some of the backhanded, catty, shady, subliminal shit that goes on between friends, enemies, and complete strangers that takes place at everyones fingertips via computer keyboard. (Myself included in all of that)

So here we go again. Real Talk. Version 2.0. For the month of September, there will be no Facebook. No Twitter. I've FINALLY caught up to 2008 and deleted my MySpace. No IMs. No texting. No personal email. You can call me, or you can write me via snail mail.

Instead of doing nothing for 30 days besides working like I did last year. Perhaps I'll add some spontaneity to my month off. Maybe I'll drive to the cape in the middle of the night, just to watch the sunrise, and drive back. Or fly to Bali (Thanks Ms. Gilbert). Or perhaps I'll just take my fat ass to the gym for a change. Who knows. I will do SOMETHING. And I'll probably share with you guys. :0)