No Cockblockers Allowed

Cockblock (verb): The art of interfering, by way of one’s mere presence, with the attempt of one person to freak another.

Cockblocker (noun): A person who interferes with another’s chance of getting laid.

I seem to be surrounded by an army of cockblockers lately, and I don’t really understand why. I’m already having “self-confidence” issues as of late due to various reasons in which I frankly need to get over, but I’m getting tired of the constant level of thirst surrounding me these days.

My most recent cockblock happened at work. I’m helping a gentleman upgrade his phone. He was fairly attractive, but had a body to DIE FOR. I’m going through my normal routine, helping him pick out a new phone, checking out his ass….I mean account to make sure he was on the right plan to suit his needs….

When out of NOWHERE, my friggin co-worker decides to get all up in my mix, annoying the shit out me, talking about porn subscriptions, girlfriends, vaginas….I don’t really know. It was all a blur and it was pissing me the fuck off. I wanted to kill him. Needless to say, the customer was trying to get the hell out as quickly as possible.

Was the guy gay? Was he straight? I don’t know. I don’t even care. He wasn’t your typical over entitled asshole of a customer, so for that I was in love.  What's that saying, "You catch more flies with honey....?"

This is just the most recent example, but seriously whether I’m at karaoke, at work, or just out with friends in general, my rooster gets blocked at any opportunity. But the next time somebody’s thirsty ass tries to take my tall drink of water, I’m putting some Shug Avery pee in it.

What's Your Cup Size?

Ok, growing up around women for most of my life, I unfortunately have seen my fair share of bras and and how cup sizes are measured and whatnot. However, nothing could prepare me for this.



This, ladies and gentlemen, is a Ballbra. It is proclaimed by it's manufacturers to not only be comfortable and sexy, but also is said to increase stimulation during sex or masturbation. Fun, huh?

Sizes run in typical underwear-like sizes, or you can be a true "baller" boy and order a custom ballbra by measuring the height and width of your ummm....boys.

I don't know about you, but this sounds like heaven to me. But then again, I've always had a thing for underwear so this is right up my alley. What's say you guys? More importantly, what's your cup size?

Pride - A Contradiction in the Term Itself

Well folks, June is here and for most people of the gay communities in these United States, that means that Pride is coming up. The story is no different in Boston as I'm seeing all sorts of flyers and whatnot about the different Pride-themed events leading up to the "Big" parade on Saturday. Because these series of events is indeed a part of "Pride" week, you would think that there would be a little bit more unity and sense of "pride" in our gay communities. Unfortunately, that is not the case.

Here's my take on the divide I'm seeing:

"Anti-gay" gays - I get it. The gay scene is NOT your thing. But the sheer fact that you like to either give it or take it up the ass is all you need to show a little respect to those who do enjoy the scene. I'm not talking about doing drugs in the back of the club or hooking up in the bathrooms (because believe it or not, that happens at the str8 clubs too). I'm talking about the normal scene, with the same awful electronic mixes of "Single Ladies" and everything Gaga. People like it. People love it. More power to em. I like to dance to the awful shit when I go out. But I actually have more respect for those who say, "Not really my scene," than those who show such disdain and downright HATE for anything remotely gay, whether it's clubs, music, tv, or whatever. Seriously, go suck a dick.

"Super" gays - This is where I may sound a little contradictory. Guys, get over yourselves. Really. Respect must be given if you expect to receive it back. There is a very distinct difference between being open with your sexuality (or FLAUNTING it) and just being disrespectful about it. That means no unwanted sexual advances, no anti-hetero remarks, etc. While it is true that I tend to wear my sexuality on my sleeve sometimes (My walls are painted purple for Pete's sake!) I do not FORCE my sexuality upon others. This is how I have gained respect from peers and str8 counterparts. They love my FLAMIN' hot ass! And let the fucking Bi guys play softball with your queeny asses. They will only help the game, I'm sure. Where's the inclusiveness and acceptance there?

So this week, as the weird costumes get dusted off and re-glittered, let's keep in mind that yes, we should have a gay ol' time. But respect gets respect. Prove why we deserve the rights we've worked so hard to get by acting like humans and not animals.

Let the hateful comments commence...

Male Prostitute Quits

Well it looks like America's first legal male prostitute has quit his day job. Markus Destin has decided to resign from his post at the Shady Lady Ranch in rural Nevada due to a lack of customers....less than 10 customers...

The owners of the ranch, Jim and Bobbi Davis, have already hired a replacement, but hinted that Destin may return at some point. While their main focus (and moneymaker) is women who have sex with men, they have stated that they will pursue the idea of male prostitutes a little while longer.

Hmmmm....

In my opinion, there are a few reasons this business arrangement didnt' work out between Markus and the Shady Lady.

One, he expressed that he only wanted to have women clientelle and not have sex with men. I don't know of many women who would pay for sex. There are enough horny men out there for them to flash their pussies to and fuck for free. Unfortunately for Mr. Destin, he probably would have made more money if he was "gay for pay."

Two, this guy isn't what I would call "income worthy," meaning if I were to pay someone for sex, it wouldn't be him. Take a look at this:



His face looks retarded and his dick looks....unhealthy. Don't nobody want that wrinkly shit. I like a nice pretty penis...especially if I'm paying for it. Beggers can't be choosy, but you best believe I'd be getting my hard-earned money's worth.

Gimmie this guy:



DAMN!!!

Fuck the Red Cross

Let me preface this by saying I am truly sorry about what is going on in Haiti, and I will find other means of supporting them.

I recently received a letter from the American Red Cross asking me to send a monitary donation for whatever relief efforts they claimed to be supporting at the time or to stop by a local blood bank and donate blood. As a result, I Tweeted a comment about them that resulted in numerous dialogues between myself and virtual strangers....and also brought back a flood of memories that I had once forgotten.

It was the year 2000 and my first week as a College Freshman. I was away from my hometown of Detroit and exploring new horizons at my school in Orangeburg, South Carolina. I was an adult, independent, ready to take on the world. There was a Blood Drive on campus and I figured that I would do the responsible thing and donate some of my blood. I mean, as their slogan at the time said, the life that I save could be my own. :0)

The Blood drive was fairly busy, which I expected, and I waited patiently for my turn to donate. Of course there was a questionaire, which I have refered to since then as THE questionaire. Anywhoo, I fill out the questionaire and hand it to the lovely, seemingly nice lady on the other side of the table and mentally prepare myself for the sight of blood being pumped from my very own veins.

What happened next is probably the most embarassing and humiliating thing that has ever happened to me....EVER...

The lady looked at my questionaire...THE questionaire...like I had drawn Nazi symbols all over it. Then she told me, as cold-hearted as she possibly could, that I would not be able to give blood. Why? Because I am "a male who has had sex with another male since 1977, even once." Are you fucking kidding me? Yes, I'm a gay male, who has had sex with men, since 1977 (I was BORN in 1982). Then I was escorted out of the blood drive location because of fears that I would cause a scene. I would have. I was shocked, totally embarassed, and I wanted to cry.

The worst part about it is the fact that was no empathy whatsoever. There was no "I'm sorry, but unfortunately FDA guidelines...." No "I wish we could, but..." No nothing, but the impression of "You're gay, therefore you have AIDS, and we don't want your disease-ridden blood."

Flashforward to the other day, and the conversations that I had with these people whom I have never met. It was almost the same thing all over again, except they were a little nicer. But were still trying to justify the reasoning. I was told that people are prohibited from giving blood for sleeping with prostitutes and sharing needles. While that may be true, the fact of the matter is that as long as they refrain from that activity for i year before donating blood, then they're allowed to do so. So according to my calculations, a hetersexual male can have unprotected sex with a different female prostitute every day of his life and then share needles with 20 different people, and as long as he stops doing that for a year, then he can donate blood. But if I have protected sex with another HIV negative male, test negative every six months, and become abstinate for 10 years, I'm still prohibited from donating blood. Does that make sense? What sickens me the most is that it's been almost ten years after that incident, and 25 years after the archaic clause was placed on THE questionare, and nothing has changed. I've had this discussion with several of my gay friends. Some of them told me that they donated blood after lying on THE questionaire. Fuck that. I'm not lying on any form just so an organization who practices blatent institutionalized homophobia can suck the blood out of me....literally.

So fuck you, Red Cross. Take my name off your mailing list. You don't want my blood, therefore you don't get my money.

Let's Go Streaking in Antarctica!

So Deuce and I went to go see the new Kate Beckinsale movie, "Whiteout" today. Overall, it was a pretty good movie, but one of the first things that stood out for me in the movie had little to do with the plot whatsoever.

In the first few minutes of the film, it shows the outside of the base where most of the movie takes place and as Kate's character is walking into the building, there is a group of guys running out of the building nude. They were streaking. In Antarctica.

Kinda puts a whole new meaning to the phrase, "Cold as balls" huh?

Regardless, once a saw the frozen dicks go by, I immediately thought, "I wanna do that!!!" So now, there is one more impossible goal on my list of things to accomplish before I'm dead. I will go streaking in Antarctica...

Who's with me?

Lizard Sets Penis Free

I really need to be Tweeting about this right now...



Courtesy of newslite.tv:

A man who appeared in court accused of flashing his penis at a female train guard has walked free, thanks to a tattoo on his manhood.

Hartlepool magistrates court had been told how 28-year-old Barry Kenny had drunkenly displayed his willy during a train journey from Newcastle to Hartlepool.

But the woman had not mentioned any "distinguising marks" on the penis and Barry has a two inch long lizard tattoo running along his penis.

As a result his solicitor was able to get the charges dropped, but only after Barry offered to show his willy to magistrates.

Before being reminded he was under oath Barry had wanted to claim the tattoo was seven inches long.

That lizard could have been seven inches long....if he were in a dark alley outside of a gay club. Things do look bigger than they actually are when you're drunk/high/horny/unconscious. I'm just saying....