Friday, August 31, 2012

Real Talk: 4th Edition

Wow! Tomorrow is September first. While most folks are heading out of town to celebrate Labor weekend and anxously posting vacation pics on Twitter and Facebook (and Instagram), I'll be taking my much needed month-long sabbatical from anything and anything Social Networking related.

This edition of Real Talk is sort of bittersweet. When I first started this one man experiment in 2009, it was based on a bet that I couldn't give up Tweeting for a week. I raised that bet to a month and it included giving up Facebook, Twitter, IMs, AND TEXTING for an entire month...and while it was a difficult task, I survived it. My objectives have changed since then.

This year, time seems to be flying faster than before (probably because I've crossed that 30 threshold) and I've actually been enjoying my time using Social Networking for it's intended purpose: Making new friends and reconnecting with old ones. But taking this break will once again make me appreciate the technology that is readily available to me when I need/want it.

For the next thirty days, if you have my actual phone number or physical address....use it. That's the only way you'll get ahold of me. Meanwhile, I'll be offline trying to enjoy the little bit of summer that's left, including a vacation with the bff....and perhaps a date or two. But that would require someone to go on a date with.

Sunday, August 26, 2012

No Cockblockers Allowed

Cockblock (verb): The art of interfering, by way of one’s mere presence, with the attempt of one person to freak another.

Cockblocker (noun): A person who interferes with another’s chance of getting laid.

I seem to be surrounded by an army of cockblockers lately, and I don’t really understand why. I’m already having “self-confidence” issues as of late due to various reasons in which I frankly need to get over, but I’m getting tired of the constant level of thirst surrounding me these days.

My most recent cockblock happened at work. I’m helping a gentleman upgrade his phone. He was fairly attractive, but had a body to DIE FOR. I’m going through my normal routine, helping him pick out a new phone, checking out his ass….I mean account to make sure he was on the right plan to suit his needs….

When out of NOWHERE, my friggin co-worker decides to get all up in my mix, annoying the shit out me, talking about porn subscriptions, girlfriends, vaginas….I don’t really know. It was all a blur and it was pissing me the fuck off. I wanted to kill him. Needless to say, the customer was trying to get the hell out as quickly as possible.

Was the guy gay? Was he straight? I don’t know. I don’t even care. He wasn’t your typical over entitled asshole of a customer, so for that I was in love.  What's that saying, "You catch more flies with honey....?"

This is just the most recent example, but seriously whether I’m at karaoke, at work, or just out with friends in general, my rooster gets blocked at any opportunity. But the next time somebody’s thirsty ass tries to take my tall drink of water, I’m putting some Shug Avery pee in it.