Sunday, August 26, 2012

No Cockblockers Allowed

Cockblock (verb): The art of interfering, by way of one’s mere presence, with the attempt of one person to freak another.

Cockblocker (noun): A person who interferes with another’s chance of getting laid.

I seem to be surrounded by an army of cockblockers lately, and I don’t really understand why. I’m already having “self-confidence” issues as of late due to various reasons in which I frankly need to get over, but I’m getting tired of the constant level of thirst surrounding me these days.

My most recent cockblock happened at work. I’m helping a gentleman upgrade his phone. He was fairly attractive, but had a body to DIE FOR. I’m going through my normal routine, helping him pick out a new phone, checking out his ass….I mean account to make sure he was on the right plan to suit his needs….

When out of NOWHERE, my friggin co-worker decides to get all up in my mix, annoying the shit out me, talking about porn subscriptions, girlfriends, vaginas….I don’t really know. It was all a blur and it was pissing me the fuck off. I wanted to kill him. Needless to say, the customer was trying to get the hell out as quickly as possible.

Was the guy gay? Was he straight? I don’t know. I don’t even care. He wasn’t your typical over entitled asshole of a customer, so for that I was in love.  What's that saying, "You catch more flies with honey....?"

This is just the most recent example, but seriously whether I’m at karaoke, at work, or just out with friends in general, my rooster gets blocked at any opportunity. But the next time somebody’s thirsty ass tries to take my tall drink of water, I’m putting some Shug Avery pee in it.

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