Weirdness

So because I had nothing else better to do, I decided to Google crazy sex laws in Massachusetts.

Now I thought I was gonna find some off the wall crazy shit....but I didn't. However, I did find a few things that made made me go.."What the fuck?"

For instance, oral sex is ILLEGAL in Massachusetts. Are you kidding me? 90% of gay sex is oral! Is this some sick way of locking up all the homos?

Also, it is illegal for a man's erection to show through his clothing. By this standard, a lot of adolescent boys (and some ready freaky weirdo grown-ups) should be put away for a few years.

But the craziest of them all had to have been this one: At a rodeo, it is illegal to have sex with a rodeo clown in the presence of horses.

What the fuck?

I'm in love with a stripper...

...well, not really. Not even close.

But I did find myself once again fascinated with a person of the opposite sex. (Gasp!)

Now I had absolutely nothing to do today but laundry, homework, dusting, doing the dishes and other stuffl....none of which I actually did because I was too busy on YouTube downloading old clips of Sable from the WWF (now known as WWE...I liked it much better when the F was there). I don't know why I'm drawn to this woman but I could not stop watching these clips....for hours!



Don't worry, I'm not ready to jump the broom and marry the broad. The most important part of my body didn't even wake up while she was on TV (Thank God). But there is something there that I can't put my finger on. Maybe it's how she was the underdog who was merely trying to defend herself. Maybe it was because people were jealous of her incredible beauty (Trust me, I can relate! Haha). Or maybe because when all was said and done, she could kick your ass and not break a nail....or stiletto heal.

Whatever the reasons, I just want to say to Sable, if she's reading this (yeah right), I miss you, and your fake boobs, and power bombs.

My Car Has AIDS

Ugh, I hate people.

Anyone who knows me knows that my number one pet peeve is bitches who talk during the movies. Well tonight these 4 hoes were tap dancing on my last nerve during "The Unborn." I'm sitting there, trying to enjoy the somewhat cheezy movie and these 4 ghetto Woburn bitches would not shut up. After about an hour of their whispering and giggling and shit I finally asked them in the nicest way possible, "Would you shut the fuck up?" And instead of getting an apology, one of them turns around and says "What?" So my friend (not as nice as me) says "Shut the fuck up."

Still no apology.

Instead they continue whispering and giggling and making snide remarks about us. So instead of calling them the cum-guzzling whores that they were once the movie ended, we just get up and leave. Well we haven't made it to my car when I hear behind us, "Faggots!" Which turns into a big ugly scene in the movie theatre where the whores' best witty line is "faggot" (like they discovered the fountain of youth or something. Not that I'm some flaming queen or anything, but a blind man can tell I take it up the rear) and us calling them everything but children of God (trust me, God had nothing to do with that catastrophe).

So anyway, as I'm backing my car up, trying not to hit this bitch whose head is a big as Kim Kardashian's ass, she's whipping out her cheap ass camera phone to take a picture of my license plate. Then, my friend tells me that one of them spit on my car. And all I could think is "Great, my car has AIDS now."

Spygate

Ever get the feeling you’re being watched? The tell-tale signs have been showing up around me for a bit, from my BlackBerry telling me how many times an incorrect password has been entered before the correct one was entered (that’s why they’re called Smartphones), to people asking me strange questions they wouldn’t normally ask (like they’re asking for someone else). It’s kinda funny, being spied on that is. It makes me wonder what I’m gonna do next. I see you watching me. LOL

Even as I get ready to go out and celebrate a friend’s birthday tonight, I know that I’m being watched. When I step into the club, the little spies will be focused on me for the entire evening. I hope they bring their video phones. Maybe I’ll give them a show. I wouldn’t want to disappoint them.

Stay Tuned….

Freedom to be Me

I put my all in it, and I lost myself in it. It always happens, but this time I realized it before they screwed up. And I screwed up instead. Then I realized that it wasn’t me who screwed up. The person who screwed up is in my body, but it is not me, for I wouldn’t do it. I did, however, allow this person to take hold of me. And now I’m kicking him out. He’s leaving. I’ll be free. For once in my life….I’ll be free to be me.

A Valuable Lesson...

"The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return." - Moulin Rouge

Let's Make Music...

So I was on the T today and this guy pulls out a notebook and starts writing. After a closer look, I noticed that the pages of the notebook were music staffs and the guy was writing notes...Literally. Music notes. A nostalgic feeling came over me. I realized how much I missed singing classical music. Another thing I noticed was that the guy was absolutely gorgeous! Well, maybe not gorgeous but attractive nonetheless. I wanted to say something to him...ask him about the music he was writing...get some sort of conversation going. But I didn't. Why didn't I say anything to him? Was I afraid that he would look at me like I had 3 eyes? Was I afraid of the rejection if I decided I liked him enough to ask out? I don't know....this is all so new to me....

Billy

PS: I need to get laid....lol